The Full Monty
by LostLyra
Summary: What were they doing that was so terrible?” she asked. He scrubbed at his eyes, trying to gouge them out. “I’m scarred,” Harry wakes up from a horrific dream, but it seems that on one can understand him. Only two swearwords, rated T for imagery


This thought just came to me when I was watching a snippet of the fourth movie and my sister was naming all of the movies flaws… I'm still a HP fan though! Writen in 20 minutes!

I hope this doesn't scar you for life! (I can't remember the Du Duun Duuuunn! Song - so please can you remind me!)

_Interesting fact_: DoE would be so much more easier if we had one of the magical tents that the wizards have! We could actually good some _decent_ food!

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"All right boys!" Harry James Potter cracked an eye open, realising he was once again in another dream he groaned mentally. Where was the normal pain and desperation? What about the snakes? Once again – where was the FEAR? A feeling struck him that he hadn't normally got in his dreams – curiosity.

He didn't know what he was going to see.

The young warlock wandered through the door, to see a group of Death Eaters gathered together around a old radio.

"_No_ Lucius!" there was an angry sounding voice that Harry didn't recognise. "You're doing it wrong!"

"I don't _bloody_ want to do it – that's why!" came the irate reply.

"Why don't we all just start?" the drawling recognisable voice of his potions master made Harry snap his head around so fast that his neck could crack. "Just because Malfoy is letting us use his Manor, I don't think that he has to comply if he doesn't want to – it's only the Dark Lord," there was a murmering, and Harry crept forwards, to see to his shock and horror, all of the death eaters – some he recongised and some that he didn't – in what looked like suits, very _provocative_ suits.

He shuddered.

"From the top!" a voice called shrilly, and he turned to see Wormtail, standing uncomfortably next to Voldemort.

Harry blanched as the music started to play.

Dun dun _dunnn_, du _dun_ dunn _dunnn_.

Merlin's _beard_.

They where doing the Full Monty. Some – no all – of the most feared men in the country.

And he was going to have to watch it until he woke up.

He was going to be scarred for life – more than he was already.

That's when the pants came off.

---

Ronald Billius Weasley was woken as his dark haired friend shot out of his bed gasping for air; his terrified scream woke the remaining occupants in the room. Shooting out of bed the red head scrambled over the room to his mate, who was trying to claw his eyes out and mumbling incoherently.

"Help," he started to rock. "They-" he let out a shudder, and pulled his knees up to his chest. "They where doing the _Monty_," he shook and buried his face into his legs. "I'm going to be scarred for life…" he trailed off and started to bite his hands.

"Mate?" Ron put a hand on his friends shoulder. Harry looked up, green eyes wide, terrifed and unfocused.

"Ron!" he gripped his bisceps. "Ron they!" he broke off again, still not realising that the other boys were looking at him like he was diseased.

"I'll go and get McGonagall!" Nevil Longbottom suggested, but Harry's outstretched hand stopped him.

"Don't!" he ordered sharply, surprising them all. "_Don't_!" the door was suddenly flung open to display a flushed Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley. His friends sat next to him on the bed, the bushy brown haired girl sat next to him, rubbing his back comfortingly.

"They," he shuddered again. "The _Death Eaters_…" now Ron did pay attention.

"What did they kill someone Harry? Who was it? Do we need to call in the O-"

"RON!" his sister snapped, and the redhead snapped his mouth shut, realising the other boys in the room.

"Hermione, will understand, it's a muggle thing," he breathed out a long shuddering sigh, trying to steady his breathing. "I think so…" he looked up into her hazel eyes.

"What were they doing that was so terrible?" she asked calmly, as if speaking to a small child.

"The Full Monty…" he scrubbed at his eyes, as if he was trying to gouge them out. "I'm scarred,"

Seamus suddenly burst out laughing and collapsing on the bed of his best friend Dean. "You poor bastard!" his eyes were streaming with tears, and his Irish burr rolled with laughter. "You poor_ sod_!"

Surprised Hermione smothered a giggle, hugging her deranged friend once more. "Harry it couldn't have been that bad," in defense the wizard scrabbled away from her, his eyes wide like a rabbit caught in headlights.

"Not _that_ bad! There was Malfoy – Crabb –Goyal! _Snape_!" he shuddered. The brown haired girl couldn't help it but burst into the same hysterics as the Irish teen.

The wizards of the group looked at teach other in turn, and Ron asked the fatal question. "What's the Full Monty?"

It was going to be a long night.

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Hope you liked it, it's just a short little drabble.

I'm trying to be funny here – give me some credit!

Please review if you feel kind, it's my first HP fanfic for three years – even if it is crack.

Thanks,

LostLyra.


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